When a stone is thrown into the water, the ripple begins. If anything is near the rock when it breaks the surface, it’s effected. This is not something that is mind blowing.
We’ve all done it.
We grab a rock. We throw it in the water. We watch the splash. We see the ripple. We see the effect.
But what happens as the rock travels below the water? Does it hit anything on the way down? What happens when it hits the bottom? What happens when we can’t see the rock anymore? What happens under the surface?
Choices are like rocks hitting the water.
Choices have a ripple effect.
More often than not, there is not only a ripple effect on the surface but also a sinking effect below the surface. As the choice settles on the bottom, it disrupts things blind to the naked eye.
It disrupts deep down within our souls.
Sometimes that disruption is good. Sometimes that disruption has horrifying consequences.
Over the past few weeks, we’ve spent a ton of time reflecting. The fall season is a vital piece to our story. The ripple effect began 14 years ago. That’s when the rock annihilated the surface. That’s when it all fell apart.
We were nearly seven years into our marriage.
Because of a choice made, divorce was the only option to get out of the pain. The ripple effect of my decision to step out of our marriage and stepping into an adulterous relationship left Shayla devastated.
Heartbroken and angered.
Lonely and in disbelief.
Scared and hurt.
This wasn’t supposed to be how the story would end. Our story was supposed to last until death do us part.
This wasn’t the plan when we said I do as a 19-year-old and 22-year-old. When we left the small church in western Kansas as Bryan and Shayla Moffitt, we were not planning on our marriage being over just 2,481 days later.
2,481 days. That’s it. 2,481 days of being Bryan and Shayla. The end of the story.
Or so we thought on that alarming October morning, 14 years ago.
The voicemail would be the rock that crashed through the surface of the water.
I wasn’t going to answer the call. It was only eight hours after the hidden secret was now visible. Plus, I couldn’t talk to the person who was calling.
It was Dad.
It wasn’t my biological dad because he was gone when I was five. It wasn’t my stepdad because he was gone when I was 18.
It was Shayla’s dad. However, it was the person I called Dad from the moment we got married.
I broke his heart, but even more devastating was that I broke his daughter’s heart. I crushed her heart. I shattered any dreams she had of being a mother, raising a family, and living happily ever after.
But the voicemail would begin the ripple effect.
“Bryan, you broke my heart. You broke my daughter’s heart. But I love you. You are my son. If you ever need anything in life, I will be there for you.”
The voicemail ended.
I couldn’t believe it. He didn’t cuss me out on the voicemail. He didn’t tell me how awful of a person I was.
He showed me grace.
Fast forward 14 years.
We were driving to his baseball game. It was just our 8-year-old son, Cayson, and me. Usually the conversation on the way to the game is about who is pitching or what inning he was sitting out. The conversation on this day was different.
“Dad, I told my teacher that tomorrow is my birthday,” Cayson said with a huge smile on his face. While looking in the rearview mirror with a smile of my own, I said, “You did, huh? What did she say?”
Through the smile that was still there, he quickly responded. “She said, Cayson, I thought your birthday was June 7th?”
Cayson couldn’t get the words out fast enough, “I said, well June 7th is my regular birthday, but tomorrow is my spiritual birthday! One year ago, I made the decision to follow Jesus!”
The ripple effect.
Cayson doesn’t have that conversation with his teacher without that voicemail on October 2nd, 2006.
Cayson doesn’t exist without that voicemail.
Without that voicemail, our marriage never would have been healed. Forgiveness never would have taken place.
A few short days after that voicemail, I surrendered everything.
I surrendered the hurt I experienced growing up in a broken home.
I surrendered the hurt I caused in my marriage.
I surrendered the control that I no longer had a grip on.
I surrendered everything to Jesus.
From that point forward, everything changed. It wasn’t overnight.
It took weeks of slow healing for Shayla to move back into our home that had years of painful memories. It took months of intentional counseling to work through the betrayal and to rebuild trust that was broken.
As the leaves cover the sidewalks, it represents that another season has come to a close. The trees become bare and the grass fades from green to brown. It’s a time for things to go dormant in order for new growth to happen in the months ahead. For me, the fall leaves represent our marriage that had to go dormant in order for new growth to happen.
From that dark October morning to a cold November evening nearly two months later, our marriage sat dormant. Through the dormant season, we were getting ready for something greater. We were preparing for a new season of marriage. One that would set off a new ripple effect. A ripple effect that has continued to widen day after day, month after month, and year after year.
Maybe you find yourself barely holding on.
Your marriage is slowly dying, day by day.
Or the addiction has come back and is haunting your thoughts.
Perhaps you lost your job during the pandemic and there seems to be no hope for employment in the near future.
You have felt the ripple effect from years of neglect towards your spouse. The ripple effect of taking that first drink or taking that first hit has grown to a monster that controls everything you do. The ripple effect of COVID-19 has you wondering how you are going to make the house payment or even put food on the table.
Back to choices. We each have a choice to do something about the season that we are in.
If your marriage is barely holding on, do something about it.
If the addiction has come back, it’s time to get help.
If COVID has robbed you of your job, take this opportunity to pursue a new career path.
When we are faced with an obstacle in front of us, we have the ability to put a stake in the ground, make a decision, and move forward.
We can create a new ripple effect.
Over 2,000 years ago, Jesus began a ripple effect.
He sacrificed himself on the cross to die a death for the sins of the world. But please do not overlook that he died specifically for your sins. He did this to create a ripple effect for those that believe in Him, believe in the crucifixion, and believe in the resurrection. The resurrection ripple effect is still changing lives today.
It’s all about choices. Today I encourage you to make the one to turn everything over the Jesus and let Him begin that ripple effect in you.
Invite Jesus into whatever you might be facing today in order to have a season of new growth tomorrow.
You can do this. I believe in you.
Bryan
About Bryan Moffitt
He is a speaker, writer, podcaster, and hope giver. His passion is to see others experience the same freedom that he has through an authentic relationship with Jesus. He is a marathon runner and a father to Addyson and Cayson. Bryan has been married to his best friend, Shayla, for over 20 years. Together, they are co-founders of ANGUISHED HEARTS. Be sure to check out their BE[different] Podcast. Connect with them on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM.